It took me a long time to get the courage to move from academic writing into blogging and book writing. I have spent most of my professional life as a legal or academic writer, and it definitely became my comfort zone. I learnt the language, I knew the rules and I felt like I belonged to that community. But the truth was, writing academically for me often felt like there was someone behind me with a whip, forcing me to write in a technical way that was devoid of feeling.
So I decided to create a space where I could write about the things I wanted to write about. But I soon realized that it wasn’t so easy. Whenever I sat down to write in a new, freer, and more creative way, I would be faced with my critic- telling me that my feelings are irrelevant, that I have nothing to add, and that writing isn’t meant to be fun.
After hearing from my inner critic, I would always cower and default into the academic mindset of writing: what can I prove and how can I be impressive? In short, I would default to my conditioning. And when I tried to write like that, nothing would happen. It was as though I wasn’t allowed to write from that place. So for a long time I was blocked between my creative impulse to be me, and my inner critic trying to protect me from making myself vulnerable.
One day I was waiting at the check out at the supermarket, and going through some papers in the back of my wallet. One fell out. It said, ‘What needs to be written through me today?’
It was a note that I had made after an energetic healing I once had. I was working through some issues with my PhD research and went to see a healer. The wisdom I received during the session was to see myself as an instrument for the writing, rather than the creator of it. I write better when I see the writing as coming through me- it is not from me. I simply have to show up at the computer, and be a vessel for whatever needs to be written.
Once I saw the wisdom of this in my writing, I started to see its application to my life in general. Rather than waking up and going out into the world with my sense of control about how I would like the world to be, I ask, ‘What needs to come through me today?’ This gives rise to other fascinating questions like, ‘Who needs me to be a part of their story today?’ and ‘Where can I serve best?’ In shifting my perspective from the outer ego to the inner soul, I start to see myself as a conscious participant in the unfolding of the universe, rather than as a person that can be happy or unhappy.
In asking, ‘What needs to come through me today?’ I take the focus off my ideas about how I would like events to unfold, and I awaken myself to the electricity of the planet- I listen to my inspiration and I follow the signs that feel good. I need to be writing from an honest and inspired place. I need to be real. So here I am.
We are all serving a higher purpose for the planet. What needs to be expressed through you today?