VANITY & PRIDE- THE SHADOW OF WHOLENESS
Pride is a complex word, because it has both positive and negative connotations. Pride can be a positive sense of satisfaction that flows from being happy with your life/work etc. But pride can also be the sense of vanity that comes from an over-exaggerated sense of your entitlement or importance. Pride is the belief that ‘I am fundamentally better, more important, more attractive or more entitled than other people.’ It is also an unwillingness to acknowledge the contributions of others.
The reason pride can be so damaging is that it reinforces our separateness from the whole. It stems from the idea that our identity is limited to the surface: our appearance, our achievements, & our possessions.
People who have pride in their shadow can often be the greatest teachers about self-love. They can show others how to shine. They know what it is to rejoice in their gifts and their hard work, and this can be an inspiration for other people.
However when self-love spills over into pride, this is the result of a deep feeling of inadequacy. It is a fear that I am unlovable in my essence, so I need to work hard to achieve, to win, to be better, to look better, in order to prove my fundamental worth. Vain people believe that they need to constantly change themselves in order to win the love of other people (and themselves).
Overcoming pride is actually the first step to overcoming all of the other shadows, because all integration begins with self-love. Transforming pride can happen by shifting our perception of ourselves. I am perfect as I am. I do not need to change. I am valuable and lovable. Until we internalise these beliefs, we will persist in thinking that we need to change some aspect of our external life in order to feel this way. These external changes are a waste of time (and often money). The work is within.
We need to focus on our innate connection to others. We all need to remind ourselves that we are all on our perfect path that is leading us to our highest potential. There are no good or bad experiences; there are only nudges in the direction of our highest good.
Affirmations for pride: I am lovable in my essence. I am valuable because I exist as a part of the whole. We are one.